Sep 2017
My miserable soul has seeped through the tightly shut surfaces. Through my eyelids, through the wall I have built to shut off all these feelings and thoughts that I don't want. These thoughts and feelings that I don't want to acknowledge, these thoughts and feelings that make me who I am.
My soul is seeping through my tear lines and cracked surfaces of my hardened heart. The heart that was abandoned and left to fend for itself, the heart that doesn't fully know how to mend. The heart that only knows cracking bit by bit, inside the fist of this unfair universe, as it puts more pressure on its hold to break me.
My miserable soul is seeping through my calloused fingertips, as I run them over all the wounds I have inside and out. I feel my soul seeping through the place between my shoulder blades, protruding from my body and growing into blue wings that will not help me fly, but make fall to the ground.
My miserable soul is seeping through the cracked words I speak and the roots of trees that I walk by, my soul is seeping through the air I breathe and the dirt in the ground as I dig deeper and deeper, digging in hopes of calming myself and detaching all the sorrows of my soul from my flesh and bone.
My miserable soul is seeping through the raindrops that cover my glasses and the mud that's on my shoe, my soul is trying to cling and detach itself to me and I don't know what to do, it's pulling me left and right and I feel like it's ripping me apart. I feel as if I am just as lost as I was before yet something is so clear ahead of me that I sing to drive it nearer, that I cry to make it come closer, that I hurt to make it visible. That I simply do anything that proves I'm alive and human but it never appears before me. I'm grasping on straws and all there is left are my tear stained cheeks as I engrave paper with useless words. Words that make no sense, words I thought would guide me but I'm just as lost as I was when I first grabbed a pen to write as a child...
I'm lost all the same but then I was lost in this world I'm living in and now I'm lost in the confines of my own head.
My soul is seeping through my tear lines and cracked surfaces of my hardened heart. The heart that was abandoned and left to fend for itself, the heart that doesn't fully know how to mend. The heart that only knows cracking bit by bit, inside the fist of this unfair universe, as it puts more pressure on its hold to break me.
My miserable soul is seeping through my calloused fingertips, as I run them over all the wounds I have inside and out. I feel my soul seeping through the place between my shoulder blades, protruding from my body and growing into blue wings that will not help me fly, but make fall to the ground.
My miserable soul is seeping through the cracked words I speak and the roots of trees that I walk by, my soul is seeping through the air I breathe and the dirt in the ground as I dig deeper and deeper, digging in hopes of calming myself and detaching all the sorrows of my soul from my flesh and bone.
My miserable soul is seeping through the raindrops that cover my glasses and the mud that's on my shoe, my soul is trying to cling and detach itself to me and I don't know what to do, it's pulling me left and right and I feel like it's ripping me apart. I feel as if I am just as lost as I was before yet something is so clear ahead of me that I sing to drive it nearer, that I cry to make it come closer, that I hurt to make it visible. That I simply do anything that proves I'm alive and human but it never appears before me. I'm grasping on straws and all there is left are my tear stained cheeks as I engrave paper with useless words. Words that make no sense, words I thought would guide me but I'm just as lost as I was when I first grabbed a pen to write as a child...
I'm lost all the same but then I was lost in this world I'm living in and now I'm lost in the confines of my own head.
