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im so sick of being cheated on and it pains me how you always have a relationship with others while we are together
why is my love and acceptance not enough
and why do you make excuses for cheating and having feelings for others
I swear you’re so naive, self-serving and whimsical and you’re like so many other girls who chase looks, money, and status
i hate that we live in a world that so willingly promotes sexualization

people get so caught up in themselves sexually that they seek that attention even at the cost of relationships
ugh
after everything we’ve been through, after all these years and over a fourth of our lives, and you suddenly decide you want change

how do i move forward
I will never ruin our chances of the promises of our future for only temporary bliss
welcome to nihilism
the point where life brutally punches you in the face
where you’re reminded of just how small and just how unimportant you are
it’s when you’re perfect house of cards is revealed for what it is...weak in a world of randomness and sorrow
you thought you had a diamond but then you realize that a diamonds worth is bloated as a matter of greed and fake scarcity
sure, you had a diamond, something you thought was worth dying for, but would cost you many deaths and blood in order to even hold in your hand
it gave you a false sense of importance until it revealed to be nothing but a propped up rock, propped up by who?
why, you of course, but that doesn’t change the fact that you contributed to its rise, and therefore you are to blame for the horrors that it has wreaked
the amount of blood spilled for love, I suppose that’s why the symbol of love is the heart, the bloodiest ***** of them all
and surely love isnt about the blood rush of satisfaction, so why do the chemicals in our brain allow for us civilized creatures to end up in a relationships where our hearts are being squeezed but our brain unsatisfied with emotional support.

A diamond feels nothing back, its purpose is to use you to fill its ego and get propped up further by more people

This is the eye-opening beginning of a very very sad outlook of a past optimist in a world of egoists
The feelings I have are so massive
that it's hard to be able to say they are there
Their hold on me is so powerful that it is hard to realize it hasn't always been,
It cradles over me and to it I am numb

My heart shall ache and pain me for many thoughts and time to come
The feeling of moving away from everything you have known
and severing the close bond that has always been one
It is a feeling of disaster, of ripping.
It saddens me, and for now I am numb

It shall come out in waves until it is finally done
We are not saying goodbye, and we shall reunite as one
It’s hard to grow up, if you really think about it, it’s hard to grow love, and its hard to rise above.

Everyone has a story..if I’m honest, it really confuses me how people can go through life without really knowing theirs.

I think a lot of people want to hide theirs away, and in some cases thats okay, but its hard to find a story thats not beautiful,
Even if its darkness, there’s a light somewhere..there’s got to be right?

It’s hard to find a story that’s not beautiful, but often that beauty is destruction, what a lot of people don’t know is that destruction can make something priceless when it’s withstood.

It reshapes you and makes you unique
You may think that you are “disgusting”
or “ugly,” but thats not what I see

You’re priceless and you’re fragile, and somehow haven’t been defeat, and you continue to conquer ever more feats.

Your path may be filled with bladed edges and worry,
With anxiety, depression, and pain,
You’ll have this place in your heart, this place in your mind that likely won’t go away and it’s stained, not only is it stained but its also engrained, and its taking up space and feels like a void...

Clearly I see you are a crystal, the pressure of the darkness hasn’t claimed you, they fear you for your strength, but in the light, you know all colors of beauty
I hope anyone who has something weighing them down can find someone or something to help them share their story, everyone’s story, everyones pain, love, and depression has beauty in the release, it can help when you feel comfortable and more calm, and start to understand your own story. Some things just should never have happened, yet you live with the pain of it happening anyway, of heartbreak, or something worse, but everyone if they wanted can find peace and beauty in who they are and the path they have conquered and continue to stand. There is beauty in that strength to continue on, and there’s beauty in you, no matter what your past is, there is beauty
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