when he pressed his soft mouth upon yours
you were pliant, moving like the sea
back and forth and back and forth
bestowing unto him a kind of carnage
to smash apart his fear

you felt his sighing exhale upon your cheek
as he pressed on, far too eager
far too soft-headed
can you imagine?
a boy with lips like cherries
a boy who brushed his leg against yours
a boy who decided to be bold
a boy who decided you were worth the risk

you were so very eager to reward him for his courage
and it was so simple to slip your fingers between his knuckles
under the table where all the well dressed acquaintances sat
and it was so exhilarating to whisper to him
in secrecy, to so surreptitiously excuse yourself
and wait.

when the cherry-mouthed boy entered
and locked the door behind him
and descended upon you
you ran your palms up his stomach
and higher, and you felt his heart thundering in his chest

you kissed him like the starving boy that you were
displaying your hunger so nakedly
for every sigh, there was a kiss
for every kiss, a silent plea:

‘please, please, please,
don’t disappear.
i have been staring into the great maw of loneliness
and i don’t want to be swallowed back up again, not ever

‘may your heart’s beating be the tempo by which i live
and if you walk, let me walk alongside you

‘no matter how you live, let it be a life spent in mine.’