The anger boiled up again.
I wondered whether it would ever go away.
What was it about all this
That triggered me so intensly?
Was it just frustration?
Or was it frustration
Boiling up from helplessness?
I was powerless against the flash backs.
Powerless against my past, my mistakes,
My inability to allow harm on others.

But I was still here.
Where do I go from here?
What is anger?
Is it simple self-defence?
And if so, against what?
I was trying to find reasons for my pain
Only to realise, that there is none.
Because there is no reason within me
Because I was not the root cause.

It wasn't until I opened my eyes
To the reasons of others
That I realised, that it had nothing to do with me.
I let the pain die away
I was the collateral damage
Of someone else's inner war.
So I removed myself
In understanding that I would never grow sick from this...
They would grow sick from having done what they did.

And in that moment, I felt compassion.

I forgave.

The fear never left
I could still lose everything
To someone else's inner war.
So then what is fear...?