Heres the thing about distance.

When you're romantically involved with someone that you know makes you happy to no end, and that relationship is then reduced to routine texting and phone calls, you run the risk of boring them. You start to over think the smallest of things. You start to wonder if the spark is gone, perhaps that person has lost interest in you, perhaps they no longer feel the same way.

Distance does things to the both of you that makes you doubt your relationship. It brings up fears and insecurities. It makes you not only physically, but emotionally distant. The things you used to take for granted are now the things that make you the happiest, and when even those start to disappear, one by one, you start to question yourself.

You start to question whether you're still "worth it", of if you're "good enough". You start to hurt yourself over things that simply cannot exist because of the abundance in physical proximity. You wonder if things will even be like this once you both are together again. You start to forget what its like to even be together. You start to feel like you're not even in a relationship anymore.

I've become but a guy on the internet. I feel like an obligation. Theres never anything to talk about anymore. It's like the spark we had, never existed.

I'm scared for what comes next. I look forward to seeing her again but at the same time I am so scared that what we are now, perhaps will become what we are in permanence.

I should've never left.