Sister,
You are my skin
My bones,
My blood,
You're flowing through me
You ARE me.
I feel you.
Rushing in my veins when something exciting happens,
Because whatever it is, I'm rushing to get it to your ears.
I feel you.
Pounding in my head like the reverberation of a deep bass song
I feel you.
When I hug our mother and you're not there to hijack that hug
Or when no one argues with me when I say that I'm the favourite kid.
I'm not the favourite kid.
I promise I'm not.
I feel you.
I've grown up watching your smile take over your whole face so when something makes those very lips tremble and cry, I taste it in my own mouth like acid.
I feel you.
Every hit and every blow that you have ever felt is a bruise that I have tried to heal on my own body.
I feel you.
So deep inside that unreachable part of me that to hug you I sleep in a foetal position, all bent inwards.
I miss you.
So much that my throat constricts and expands and constricts, as if I'm trying to choke myself
But THAT is where I finally stop.
I stop myself
Because you said that
If I don't breathe,
Then you don't breathe.
And you,
You better keep on breathing.