She sits on her bed
Watching the sound of the cars go by
Through the window
As she stares at the moonlight
With her eyes shut
Wondering if she shines with them
Or has flickered out
“nobody will love me"
She says to herself
It's common sense
No one will love you if you don’t shine
You're just a dulled out star
Waiting for another to sacrifice its light to luminate yours
She wears a mask hoping someone will not just fall for it–the lie—
But fall in love as well
And she will fake it as long as she can
But she doesn’t understand
Not everyone is born with luminescense
Most are stranded, alone, broken, wasted
She doesn’t understand
Two broken halves can make a whole again
Two dim lights can shine together brighter than any star in the sky
But she keeps wearing her mask
Giving everyone what they want
While she always falls short of getting what she needs
Maybe she isn't meant to be bright
Maybe she's meant to light up everyone else
But every night
When she reads her skin in the mirror
After washing away her mask
The reflection scares even her
Because not even she recognizes herself anymore
She's afraid to provide someone the definition of love
Because not even she can stand to see herself
So she sits instead
And rewrites her skin with a pen
And lays patiently wasted away in her bed
Feeling like the moon:
Only reflecting light instead of providing her own
And she knows
Just like moonlight
Nobody will truly appreciate her reflection of light
Until it wanes, fades
And is no more than darkness
Only then will they wish for the light to return
Only then will they understand
That to have light is a gift not all believe they have
And sometimes
If light is not cared for
The wind will blow it out
And leave smoke to settle in the lungs of those closest
Until the embers deeply inhale their last breath
Until ashes are all that remain.