The origins of our hero Neil Heaven Is a tale that following in the footsteps of a great many tales Has been whispered and shouted Twisted and doubted Far too many times to mean much of anything anymore
This much I can confidently state as fact Neil Heaven is a cat Neil Heaven is the cat.
Neil Heaven was once so overwhelmingly chill He slippped into such a Dazed state complete with Contented drooling smile That concerned Botanical garden staff felt compelled To contact a feline psychotherapist Who was able to assure everyone that Neil Heaven Was far from unwell He was in fact Wellness itself
Wellness catsonified.
Neil Heaven was once Headhunted by the dogs But politely declined Reportedly stating 'All creatures are equal in the eyes of Neil Heaven I must respectfully decline but Am ever so flattered by your Interest'
Chatting to my pal Neil Heaven Recently It came out he'd never Seen the internet and Was unsure exactly what it was for
So I explained that it was access to pretty much the Collective knowledge of the human race Neil Heaven smiled gracefully Turning to leave purrs 'But I already have that'
Neil Heaven Takes an annual tour of the vineyards at ChΓ’teauneuf-du-Pape To share the fruits Of his gifts in the field of oenology.