In my Chicago moments of vulnerability
I think of your long hair
Light blue eyes
And how much you claimed to like me

A devil appeared against the crook of my throat
And spoke out like a fish without water
Hunting for a snack.

The way you touched my face and gave me kisses
Or would watch me as I left
I took it all for granted
And texted other boys as I would leave
Only to realize
I guess I kinda liked you.

But I reassure myself with your many shortcomings
And your disinterest stings
Like when you touch the stove top by accident
Or turn the water on too hot.

But I don't think its really you I want
I filled up my little black book
Quickly, with little effort
As if the universe wanted to file me in
And away
From the slumbering bear
Who only proved to wound me
And keep wounding
In the end.

You like ***** packs
And we once texted in a way
That I guess I wasn't able to admit
Until now in the darkness of my room
That made me feel like someone's someone.

I make fun of you to my friends
Like a boy going through puberty
Because it is all true
But mostly
Because I did like you.