What is it that I am feeling,
Every night I lay down and stare at the ceiling,
Missing something that I once had.
And I’m mad because I let it slip through my hands,
Stuck listening to the same jams,
Reminding me of the happiness that once filled my heart,
At what part of my life.
Did my life start to go downhill,
Pills enter my system,
Meant to make me feel,
But the symptoms make me more distant,
With reality becoming more like a fantasy,
And trying to survive has become a routine,
Because i’m constantly remembering the gleam in your eyes,
Which kills me,
It’s like drowning in a sea of memories,
And every time one passes about you,
I sink further into the deep,
I keep wondering what my world would be like if I hadn’t met you,
If I knew would my night skies be clear,
Why did you disappear?,
You left me in this void,
And destroyed what made me human,
It was all an illusion you made,
Just to corrade my emotions,’
Here I am hoping and coping with the idea,
That I live in fear,
I intoxicate myself with beer,
Trying to numb whatever feeling I have for you,
But it will never undo the history we had,
And it’s sad to say,
But it’s the price I pay,
For continuing to walk down this road,
With this load that does nothing but bring me down,
And I continue to surround myself in the dark,
So it’s no wonder they call me one of the ******,
Because I chose to live in the past,
Instead of in the moment,
And it’s made me live in torment,
I’m crying for help,
But I’m afraid for anyone to help,
Because the last person to help me,
Is the reason I live in this hell,
But I hope one day that someone will tell,
That I fell from the top,
And my happiness was robbed,
I hope someone is there,
To make me feel that someone still cares,
And somewhere someone will,
But until then I must fill the hole in my chest,
And rid myself from this depressed place,
But don't think it’s too late to see the light,
As I write I realize how great my life has been since I filled mine,
And as you read I hope you start,
Because you belong here,
No matter what others say or do,
And I know you forgotten how to smile,
But you will get it back even if it takes a while,
What you desire is someone to admire you,
But what you need is to admire yourself first,
You think you’re cursed,
But you are just a prisoner of your own mind,
Who needs to find their way out,
If you thought this poem was about me you are mistaken,
This poem was made for you,
To help break you out.