I can't handle it
After all these years
I can't handle you
The pain, the dreams, your scent

I can't believe it still lingers
the warmth of your skin
The scent of your perfume
Your voice in my head

I thought you were finally fading
Turns out I only pushed you away
Put layers of other things above you
Thought I could finally deal with you

You came back
Without a warning, just like that
From normal to not being able to sleep
From nothing to feeling you in all of my dreams

I can't handle this
I don't know how to do it

It's the same intensive longing
I miss you so much it really hurts
Im afraid you're ill or married
I'm terrified you got a kid
Without me
I can't even think about the possibility that you may no longer be alive

I need the door to be open
Cannot explain why
I can't have it wide open and I can't bare if it's closed
It just needs to be ajar
Possible for me to open when i need to
But not wide open because I still don't understand what I feel for you