But this isn't a poem.
It's just the things I wish I could say to you.
A list that I add onto everyday now it seems.
You may not read these,
You may not even believe a single word if you did.
I'm not scared of things anymore.
I honestly don't know what's ahead, all the things the future holds.
I do have fear though.
I think it's only human to fear the unknown.
I hyperventilate when I think about you not being there for it.
I don't know where I'll be in another year or in another 10 years for that matter.
All I do know without a single doubt is that you will stay a part of me then and even after that.
It's a joke to some people that I can love something that I never had.
I just don't know what else to call the feeling of remembering your hands on my face
Or when you kissed my cheek.
I never felt this warm and buzzing sensation with anything else.
I fear the future but I am ready for it because you're in my heart and my head and my soul.
And I hope you know, I hope you feel it that no matter where you go or the person you hold,
Every single thing, every choice, every action, every life event will always come back to that youth camp.
I hope your life is beautiful and with every doubt and every hardship you face,
Just know that there will always be an extra person always, always rooting and cheering you on.