i put my heart in my soul.
avoid food and water,
and drink the red water.
Listen to Kendrick and Tyler,
Tupac and Tyga.
Jump and leap,
barely eat.
fake it till I make it,
listen to song everyday.
stare blank into that white space.

till I feel
like I didn't just wake up as me.
liquid or life:
an empty studio
with white walls, bricks,
and hardwood floors.
Me by this glass
of cabernet - ill be fine.
ill be great.
ill soar for days.
till i don't,
till i destroy
everything that's hard won.
till i dizzy and
pass life on.