Alone, on the shore, near our family home, familiar wide horizon fills with shades of deep grey. Drawn to the depths I stand here again, exposed to the rawness, as thunderous waves crash. Collecting cairns of pebbles distracts me for a while, yet those piles of perfect three inchers won't bounce across the beyond no matter how hard I throw them. Once you taught me how this works. In awe, I counted. So I'm stood bending low soaking wet from salt streaked face. Surely, I'm grinding sand in my teeth whilst skimming these dark leagues; yelling unanswerable questions, with each exacting throw. Unfathomable pain expelled. Again. The sea will soon turn and forget my anger. Here. Today. Where once we collected shells, decorated pebble forts, with driftwood towers and seaweed flags. Defences that don't protect us. How I miss you still.