And somehow I know I am living even Though living has not been so great

And sometimes I think I was happier when I had lost all but half of my weight

And could not string the simplest sentence together or fuse all the thoughts in my head

And couldn't hold more than ten pounds in my hands and when sleeping, I looked as though dead.

When my fingers looked old and were covered in cracks like the sidewalks that I used to run

When my body was screaming in protest and lapsed Into habits that can't be undone

When silence is almost like sound in the dark And when sound becomes something you fear

And summer heat felt akin to freezing to death and the looks you get drive you to tears

I am breathing right now And my skin is not dry And my stomach is not filled with air

And the darkness is closing in tightly around And there's sounds but I know nothing's there

And somehow I know I am living right now even though living has not be so great

And I know that I gained back a part of myself When I let myself put on some weight