self-medicating
they say not to believe everything you think
go for a walk, they say
your depression can't make you sink too deep
you're stronger than you think
and I ******* know it
but my legs broken
and stuck in drying cement
I lost sight long ago
of where my happiness went
and it's damaging
it's not rewarding
self-medicating
another beer, another bowl
another tear, another stroke
wearing the same thing every day
and people wanna talk about it like it's funny
emma doesn't wanna change her clothes
must be because she likes to smoke
don't ask me if I'm okay
I won't answer honestly anyway
and you don't wanna know
so just tell me a joke
you've got an easy yolk
full gas tank, but I'm broke
I'd drive myself away from me forever if it was easier
only taking pit stops to touch the sky to please her
I know what I want
I've got dreams & ideas,
I could take that shot...
but it's easier to lay here
wondering when it's gonna get better
when I'm gonna free the inner me & meet her
wasting time in this darkness
losing my drive to channel it out
writing about it to water it down
stings less when it's drowning in something weaker
still wasting time begging to myself to free her
talking in third person doesn't seem crazy
with your third eye open ...
glands and spirituality ...
why it's seen as magical
is beyond me
but I dig the vibe still
whether or not it's real
keep it that way, is what they always say
keep it real, & that's how you'll feel
tell me what they say
about when it's gonna heal
because this **** is getting old
I'm catching up & losing time
with a bruising soul
I need the darkness
to give me back my self-control