"It's so much fun being president
Of a great country like this.
I love it when people sing my praises,
So everyone can share my bliss.

"I can do whatever I want.
The only ones who seem to obsess
About my activities are
What I call the dishonest press.

"My people don't give a ****
About my income tax returns.
My people have faith in me
And listen when I express my concerns.

"I can hire whoever I want.
And what's more I can require them
To pledge complete loyalty to me.
If they don't, I can fire them.

"You can gain so much support
If what you do when critics start pressing
Is cut off access to information.
Confuse 'em all and keep 'em guessing.

"When they bring up a Russia connection
And even suggest the word 'collusion,'
I distract them with tweet after tweet
To make a commotion and cause confusion.

"One of my favorite perks on the job
Is taking all of my paid vacations.
I also love having the power
To cut off any investigations.

"My business empire continues to grow.
Conflict of interest? Bah, that's bunk.
Don't believe it when the media
Say my approval ratings have shrunk.

"All of my success up to now
Adamantly underscores
One of my favorite sayings, and that's
'You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.'

"And when the people take you to court
For stiffing them or trying to ***** 'em,
Use your billions of dollars to pay
Lawyers to help you countersue 'em.

I love to have my fans in Congress
Eating out of the palm of my hand.
We have to merely yell, 'Fake news!'
When something doesn't go as planned.

"Regarding international affairs,
They say I'm awkward and not well versed.
It isn't about the rest of the world;
It's all about America first!

"Any group that gives me money,
Gets my support all the way--
From dangerous climate change deniers
To all my friends at the NRA.

"When my critics complain about
Anything I say or do,
I love to go on TV and say,
'I'M the president; not you.'"

-by Bob B (7-5-17)