I used to believe my arms were similar to water and that eventually whoever I wrap them around for comfort would run out of breath. I knew that once they go up for air they would forget to come back for me. It is true I have been drowning for what feels like forever but now I know after years of being under that I am not the water and I never will be. I am not free flowing and my hands are not the ones slipping stones into pockets. I've realized that it is me who has run out of breath  it is me who has steel shoes and over time I have become so desperate for someone to untie the laces that I trust anyone that dives into the water.