I was never a child who got too startled
It was not the imaginary monsters or darkest corners that kept me up
It was always the words
Words  that paralyzed me, pinned back my ears

I was never a child who got too sick
I did not catch the common flu commonly  
Nor did I shake with sweat on a bone-chilling night
It was always the words
Words that scraped my stomach raw, ate me inside out

I was never a child who got too smart
I did not talk with naively perceived accuracy
It was not the punishment I received from being a smart-aleck that refrained me
It was always the words
Words that controlled my inner speech, meticulously measuring what squeaked out

I was never a child who got too close
I did not trust, for I did not know, for I did not try
I was barricaded by the words
It was always the words that paralyzed me, scraped me raw, controlled me
I was forced to listen, but never to ask, never to protest, never to question
I was restrained by the words, obstructed by them
I let them hurt, I let them deplete me, I let them be me

And they have been me, and they are me
I have consumed them, time and time again
I let them take over, till there was no more me and only the words
It was always the words
Now it is just *the words