woke up back to back with another piece of myself and tried to absorb dreams through his sleeping. these attempts proved how useless a lot of what led to this moment were. I’m clean, and in the dregs of my suffering heart, playing my strings, smacking my keys, snapping with rings of bruises. grease stains on my skin. he was good *** in the moonlight but he didn’t bring me the pleasure I so often seek. “If I can’t find love with you, I’ll find it somewhere else.” he’s a tangled leg, a darkened face a mirrored mask. I see him in the colors he avoids in his search for solitude. now it’s my turn. and I’m going to bend.