Goodmorning

Dear self it hurts to to be an option.
Like a fire burning in hell, I felt jealousy and anger in myself.
We are like water and oil never be in each other's arms but with someone.
I would like to punch my heart and head for being a fool in Love.
I am your secret lust lover, a sin for mankind.
So .... To keep my sanity. Starting this morning.
I will stop.

Forget the fun, adorable and witty conversation.
I will keep thinking love is better dead than hurt my vulnerable heart.
I have dignity to preserve what is left in me.
A face of a pretending fool.

I wanted to seek the mysteries of people falling in love.
Gravity? Lust? Or just loneliness in my part.
I felt terrible because I cannot forget you.
Today I will totally **** the heart of a fool.

I'll be patient in poisining my heart,  little by little.
I will give an antidote of heartache thoughts.
I will shame myself for being naked and vulnerable.
It will be a difficult journey, I ask God for strength.

Why do I have this feeling of sadness, a little hope that love will grow.
A better half to share ones life in the journey.
I keep telling that were are not, you're better with her.
She will provide the love that I cannot give to you.

I am just a fool.

Jenny