they say you become like the five people you are around the most.
i was constantly scared of finding undesirable pieces of me that were originally from someone else, their constant presence creating opportunities to create a magnetization between bodies, intertwining energies to create a few sparks, either benign or destructive.

the reason why my mind spent so many years on you was because of the admiration i held up to the way your mind appeared to function. the way you carried yourself, and the perseverance and joy for life you captured within. the knowledge you perused and the curiosity that fueled your interest in the beauty of cultures. the passion you cradled in the smile that spread across your face when you talked about something  you are passionate about. your qualities were pieces i would be delighted to find in myself, if our energies were to dissolve into each other, i would not be quick to separate myself like i have done with others. i did not want to romanticize you, and at this point there was nothing superficial about this infatuation, i did not want to write Shakespearean sonnets over your flesh, i wanted your soul to be the influence and muse to write like pablo neruda and paint like pablo picasso.