A sudden hole in my bag
And all my groceries fell out
Just look around
If you have any doubts

I hate when the items
Make a run for their lives
Must have been the sardines
With their pocket knives

They saw we were home
And before it was late
They sliced and they diced
On their paper bag prison break

Now their all hurrying and scurrying
In a mad dash for their lives
While the veggies went left
The meat products went right

With no time to delay
I went right, right away
Toss this dog a bone
And just see what I say

Never realized how fast
Bologna could roll
Or steak could gallop along
When out of control

But I grabbed them both
Without a minute to spare
As a pack of wild chihuahuas
Came from out of nowhere

Who proceeded to think
Of me as the meat
And made a melee
Below both my knees

When I made it back home
The veggies didn't get far
As they were still fighting
Over the keys to my car

The rhubarb had sights on the North
The avocado due South
As the artichoke thought
California no doubt

Luckily I got there
In the nick of time
And marched them inside
All in single file

Where I had them for dinner
From dips to dessert
Thinking back on the day
And how it could have been worse

Next time at the checkout
When paper or plastic is asked
I'll kindly speak up
And say...
do you have something in a wire mesh instead