The learned Dons of Oxford
Have invented and refined
An efficacious compound;
Love Potion number nine.

A heady mix of pheromones
and vitamins and such.
Just give it to your blasé mate
And she’ll hunger for your touch.

Oxytocin warms her heart
and bonds her to your side.
Testosterone’s included
So she’s randy as a bride.

A simple pill upon her tongue
And passion is restored.
A boon for long time couples
Rather lacking in Amor.

Just be sure to stay at home
when she ingests the pill.
If you don’t make yourself available
The mailman can and will.