i wonder how different
things would be
if i had worked up
the **** courage
to tell you
how i truly felt.
if only
i was more confident
in myself,
confident enough
to speak my mind.
i wanted to tell you.
i did.
but the words
got caught
somewhere in my throat
like a beautiful butterfly
in a spider web.
this wrenching fear
of rejection
burned down
the rose garden
and left the blooming buds
black
and charred
and smoking.
i should have said it.
i wonder how different
things would be
if i had worked up
the **** courage
to tell you
i love you.