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May 2017
Not really a poem. More a note.
The day I met you I fell in love. I never thought this day would come. How can someone be so in love then be so rude weeks later? How could someone promise to never leave but be gone and never come back? I had dreams about this every ******* night and guess What? There gone. Just like you. Maybe it was a sign. I can't stop thinking about that night. How I ****** my whole life up in 20 seconds. I regret everything. I regret my mind telling me things that may not be true but believe them anyway. I always knew I was never good enough for you and I guess I was right. I never felt such pain and hurt that I don't know how to control it. Things I want to do and things I want to say should never be said but I do it anyway and I don't know why. You never have been perfect but it was all I needed. 4 years of seeing your face and touching your hair and laughing together and making a child turns into sleepless nights and hateful hurtful words and a sad 9 month old wishing her daddy would come home. I can't believe some of the things you have said. They play in my head over and over again. Someone you loved and still love How? How can you leave me like this. How could you forget about our life and move on with no hurt or no pain? How can you be away for so long and not miss Me? Are you even thinking at all? Who's there that is making you forget about everything we Have? Do they help you at night when you wake up scared? Do they take care of you when you had no where to go? Do they love you threw all your bad nights? What about when you didn't want to work and you took those long months off? Who supported You? What about when you where so alone so far away who helped you threw it? The girl you fell in love with you won't even give one last chance too. The girl who stood buy your side no matter what you won't even look back on. The girl who loved you so much won't even give me the time of day. Or maybe I'm still a buzz **** right? That plays in my head all day. I want to forget and tell people I'm okay but I'm not. I'm not okay and I don't think I ever will be.
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