Onto my stump I rub expensive, aloe vera stump cream
before and after swimming in an icy, mountain stream
'cause I don't want to be on the stumpy, jungle-rot team

Onto my swollen leg stump I rub expensive, aloe vera stump cream
before & after swimmin' in a frigid, North Dakota mountain stream
'cause I don't wanna be on a North Dakotan stumpy, jungle-rot team
Please hospice nurse mercy-killers, don't mercy-**** me by flogging
me with my prosthetical leg, as I am happier to be alive than I seem under a satanic mix Fleetwood & Jagger, there'll be nada to redeem
for oath keepers' fugly ******* who're under sacred oath not to ream
under skies of liberation whereat Jersey sheenies shimmer & gleam
I fear the mumbling, perverted pig, the fake obstetrician Bill Cosby
'cause he'll drug me with Quāāludes just before he rapes & robs me
Being the last to die as is a plan that loving romantics have 'tis true,
especially at the death-bed of a rich uncle who has got bronchial flu
Let's sway gaily under rotting palms while praising Lordly Christus
with hymns & psalms as cultishly-religious claptrap exalts & calms