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May 2017
You don’t need arrows to pierce the skin
Your grief will do just fine
You don’t need insults to stab the heart
Your disappointment is enough
You don’t need a blade to cut the surface
Your tears will do the job
How can I be your daughter
While I’m being the parent you never had
How can I go to you with my sorrow
When a single tear of my own
Sends you reeling in regret and tears
That out last mine
When my past
Turns into your own nightmare
Your hugs turn into me holding you up
Me holding you together
Comforting you
Trying to bandage your wounds
While my own bleed uncontrollably
And when you are feeling great you say “we” are doing great
And when I’m doing stuff on my own
It’s a good thing for you, because my determination will encourage you
And when you are depressed is it all about you and your pain
And when it is my sorrow
You are the first to shed tears and turn it upon yourself
I’m trapped in this darkness
Drowning in my own
And waves of yours just push me farther down
Suffocating because you keep stealing my breath
Dying because you keep me from healing
You tear away my bandages to place upon yourself
And I let you
I help you with my shaky hands
Hold you with my bleeding arms
Comfort you with the little air I have in my lungs
I let my tears fall into your eyes for you to cry
I tell you the words that I long to hear from you
That I long to feel
“Everything will be ok”
I wish this was true
I warm you with my heart
And you greedily accept
Leaving me cold
Inside and out
You take my emotions
Leaving me numb
Robotic
And you tell me you love me
After you just killed me
And yet you have no idea
How far it has gone
How much you take from me
How much I give to you
I may have placed the poison in your hands
But you are the one who used it on me
Again and again
And now you watch me struggle for life
And you say “I wish I could help”
But deep down you need me
Need me to give up my life so you can live
Need me to keep coming back for the antidote
Only to poison me again
Once upon a time you called me “Your Baby”
But now I have no name
Because like everything else
You have taken it from me…
TJ
Written by
TJ  25/F/In A Place...
(25/F/In A Place...)   
369
   --- and Lior Gavra
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