I was a run away
I feared my parents due to insanity
From moments of beatings, threats, and abuse.
I kept one eye open every night as I slept
As I heard the creaks on the floors as they crept
I started drinking and drugging from flash backs
that played dances in my soul like "Foot loose."
Discipline by religion and the fear of God.
I tried to change a shameless family
who truly loved one another
but could not show it
One by one they had died.
Witnessing their last breaths
as their souls poured out and settled the agony
We became closer after their last times
Tears fell
I abused myself  through toxic drinks, friends, and near death
roads I had traveled with them into Hell.
I still am the run away child
Running in the wild.
I was pimped out, stabbed, shot down.
I cried as I handed the realtor the keys to my childhood home
That I was forced to sell.
Foreclosures
Forced ****** Corruption
Suicide attempts
Stalking murderers trying to end my voice
I shake every night from my fears and memories
I take prescriptions to end the physical and emotional pain
I stay strong and that's by choice.
I am a fighter.
I loved my father, deeply, but needed to beat back his respect.
My mother's boyfriend, murdered by those he angered by disrespect.
I paid in money to have my family stay safe
When the friend's dealers came to me to collect when they failed to pay.
Sums for bags and sins that were not mine.
I woke in days in a busted up house and hotel rooms
Watched every family member go insane and rush to fame
as they threw away their incense in vane.
I am still the running child. Scared sometimes of his own self.
I had bottled up years of powerful hate and resentment
Stabbed,beaten,*****, and blamed.
By other family members who were never there to witness my downfall.
Bloodbaths, food lines, and Ghetto apartments.
Trashing stores fighting off the corrupt ones
Trying to take away my life
The running child
Struck back like a knife.
Selling his cherished family valuables  to avoid cold streets
Nights without power  or even heat
In a cold building
Fearing me and other family members would freeze and die
I stayed strong and by their sides.
Even through sickness,death and corruption
I awaken from sweating and crying from flashbacks
As I lied awake,further, and I had tears fall as I cry
Missing my lost mother and father
Watching my future grow dim as I drank and partied to end
the heavy feeling over the grim
This running child suffers onward
However as hard and cold as my road has taken me
I never stop
I shine my bright and loving soul
as haters breath words of cruelty into my face
I had to force myself through pain and poverty
still
I am nothing big
I still work every painful and waking moment sharing these lines
As I wish to relate to those running children
Broken by the shameless
Almost taken by lies
I connect to them , for strength in numbers, in these word vines.