it is always back there
in the farthest corners of my mind
waiting to seep out after sunset
at the lowest moments

and it aches
making everything heavy
like cement rolling through my veins
weighing me down so i can no longer run

it holds me like a planet in orbit
making itself the center of my universe
yet it is the farthest thing from a bright star

so i just sit
staring into the darkness
but not seeing
only feeling
feeling the feeling of not wanting to feel

s.s