I never forgive myself.
I do not like to write
about my deepest truths
even when I lie to tell you
who I really am.
I still censor that man.

I never forgive myself,
but I let everybody else
do so much worse then
I ever did when I was kid.

I never forgive myself.
I set my standards to high.
I push too hard
and a part of me hopes
I fly so high that I die
when I touch the sky
and fall down
wax feathered wings and all.

I never forgive myself
but maybe you will.
I’ll give you my words
and help you feel
connected to the strangers
that you barely feel are real to you.

I never forgive myself
for not sacrificing all
to be the greatest poet activist.
I only visit this purpose
in my poetry and prose.

Who knows if I ever will?
I will probably die
unforgiven
and apart from everyone,
cause I never forgive myself
even when I am home alone.