twice I've known love
my first and my last
both from men who woke up as early as my father
inhaling a cigarette with their first conscious breath
beginning the day
with a groan of
dedication and discipline

one love came along when I was eighteen
another at twenty eight
my fragile legs carried me the duration
of a decade long marathon
searching for a finish line
with no guarantee of it's reality

now I hold a blue-eyed trophy
after I suspected my legs would
give out
and lead me
only to an
early grave

they say time
doesn't matter
as long as you finish
the race