before the maroon 5 concert chaz said his mom wasn't home she had stripped his mattress and put everything in the wash and I only remember wondering why it hurt so much and the silk threads of the seams catching on my bra straps-- I had thought it was supposed to be so much more than pumping and churning like pistons in a truck,
the difference was you stopped when I asked shiverin' above me in a warm sweat and all i could do was run my fingers through your hair over and over stay silent and move slowly because no one has ever seen me like that, wavering and rocking, working my way up, using your hips like training blocks, stretching my thighs out over your bed-- lord I ain't ever asked for more never bruised nobody 'cause I wasn't thinkin', he's got these welts i don't even remember, he sayin he let me in like he left the door's open during the storm and I was rain, hail or wind, a noise, a knock, just me. but I opened the windows, the basement, the attic pulled out the chairs in expectation, I have nothin' to say for my fears, they're there and sometimes they shift gears and gun it but that don't mean i didn't look at you and wonder about things I shouldn't or replace my daddy's name with yours just to see.