You chose addiction over everything else, including me.
To the parent that chose addiction,
I used to wonder what I did to deserve this but I've slowly realized it isn't me, it is you. You were great whenever I was younger. You attended every school event, every soccer game, family gatherings, and so on. Our nights consisted of slushie runs and long talks. You were my best friend, biggest fan, and rock to lean on. It's weird because I've lost a parent but you aren't physically gone. I could resent the fact that you are like this but instead, I am writing this article for the sole purpose of thanking you.
Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.
It started with just hurting certain people but over time, you hurt everyone around you. Through the struggles of disappointment and being hurt constantly, it brought the entire family closer together. I never realized how blessed I am to have such an amazing family and the importance of it all until you pushed us away.
Thank you for showing me how to stand on my own.
Without two parents, I have faced a variety of my own problems. I didn't have someone to run to whenever my mom was busy trying to do everything on her own as a single parent. I am learning more and more every day on how to be independent.
Thank you for making me love myself more than I ever knew I could.
I no longer put my happiness in others. At any moment, the person that made me happy can walk out of my life. I don't need anyone in my life that makes me feel unwanted. I do not put effort into things for short term happiness.
Thank you for not being there so my stepdad could be.
He is such an amazing human being. I don't have his blood, but he continues to love me unconditionally. Without your absence, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to bond with him as well as I have.
Thank you for showing me how I shouldn't be treated.
I don't settle for less than I deserve. No man will ever treat me like you have in the past because I will not allow them to. I am worth so much more than that.
Thank you for showing me how to turn hurt into something good.
I am more motivated than ever before. I am motivated to do something amazing with my life because I don't want to be looked at as an addicts daughter. I don't want sympathy or people to doubt me due to my father's actions. I will not follow in your footsteps. I have used you to make a better version of myself.
Sadly, I can't drag you out of this hole you have dug for yourself. However, I can promise I will be there at the top waiting for you whenever you find the strength to climb up. Letting go of you has hurt me deeply, but holding onto you will only hurt me more.
Love, your all grown up princess (I'm sorry you're missing it