do you want me to tell you?
how i thought i was going to puke on the drive over?
how the sunshine temporarily blinded me,
and i couldn't see you?
how your arms felt like a weird version of home?

somewhere, in the back of my mind,
i knew you were going to kiss me that night.
somewhere, in the back of my mind.

i felt an ease. a maturity.
a big sigh of relief left my body.
...i cannot believe we spent the day together. the evening.
so many times i knew i should go.
each and every time i looked at you
and thought of reasons to stay.
but now you've left again.
disappeared.
but it's so familiar to me.
i'm used to this by now.
but i wish i could see you.
i felt comfortable with you. i felt safe.
but you are nothing more than a dream
so i'll see you with the stars.
...and i have someone, anyway
who is real.
and who i will see in the moonlight, in the daylight,
and in the sunset.

maybe, someday,
maybe.