I dare not take a drink or use a pill, for the beast will awaken again. I must stay sober and not let the monster out. Try as I might I fight against my mortal self. To let go and give control over is so easy, but would be wrong of me. So I sit here and fidget in cold contemplation as I think about trying to sleep. Even if I can close my eyes the nightmares will find me once again. I will see the horrors that I inflicted on others and watch my actions through surreal eyes. So I watch and I wait, holding on to what bit of sanity I have left, hoping that I will not give in to the darkness with in myself.