Mar 2017
Be with you again?
I can't even imagine myself thinking about wanting to be with you again.
I'm doing good now actually I'm doing great now. Not that you care because let's face it the only time I was allowed to be happy was when I was with you.
But I was never happy with you.
All the times you had my mind running wild I mean you even had control over my dreams.
It was like every ticking second you were there to remind me of who you were. Like you were some **** trophy.
But you're not. You're more like aluminum foil you crumble the second too much pressure is put on you.
I prayed to God so many nights to make my love for you disappear because deep down I knew how sick you made me.
When I was with you I felt caged in.
Now, I found the key and I feel so free.
I feel so free that I can stand on the highest mountain and just scream because that's how powerful I feel.
I have control over me when for so long your hands were wrapped around me with the tightest grip I couldn't feel my blood circulating anymore.
The boy I'm with now actually you were the boy I was with, but the man I'm with now makes me blush and gush with emotions.
He makes me feel so beautiful.
You just made me hate myself.
I looked in the mirror and it's like I had to find a way to make myself look attractive that your mouth will just start watering every time you looked at me.
That's my fault.
I made you too hungry and when you starved I was right there for you to devour me.
All you ever did was make me weak.
But NOW I'm strong.
I'm strong enough now to look you in the eyes and say I don't love you anymore.
You were all wrong.
I got too caught up on wanting to see you win I let myself fail.
You taught me one thing in all the years we were together.
You taught me that the kind of man I deserve isn't you, but the opposite of you.
But most of all the biggest lesson I've learned that I had to reach myself is that I need to love myself more and love you not at all.
But just know you didn't win.
You walk around so proud to have all these broken hearts in your hands but you lose.
You lose because you lost a girl who saw heaven in your eyes when really it was hell.
- Everything I should have said to you. - Analysa Marie
I can't even imagine myself thinking about wanting to be with you again.
I'm doing good now actually I'm doing great now. Not that you care because let's face it the only time I was allowed to be happy was when I was with you.
But I was never happy with you.
All the times you had my mind running wild I mean you even had control over my dreams.
It was like every ticking second you were there to remind me of who you were. Like you were some **** trophy.
But you're not. You're more like aluminum foil you crumble the second too much pressure is put on you.
I prayed to God so many nights to make my love for you disappear because deep down I knew how sick you made me.
When I was with you I felt caged in.
Now, I found the key and I feel so free.
I feel so free that I can stand on the highest mountain and just scream because that's how powerful I feel.
I have control over me when for so long your hands were wrapped around me with the tightest grip I couldn't feel my blood circulating anymore.
The boy I'm with now actually you were the boy I was with, but the man I'm with now makes me blush and gush with emotions.
He makes me feel so beautiful.
You just made me hate myself.
I looked in the mirror and it's like I had to find a way to make myself look attractive that your mouth will just start watering every time you looked at me.
That's my fault.
I made you too hungry and when you starved I was right there for you to devour me.
All you ever did was make me weak.
But NOW I'm strong.
I'm strong enough now to look you in the eyes and say I don't love you anymore.
You were all wrong.
I got too caught up on wanting to see you win I let myself fail.
You taught me one thing in all the years we were together.
You taught me that the kind of man I deserve isn't you, but the opposite of you.
But most of all the biggest lesson I've learned that I had to reach myself is that I need to love myself more and love you not at all.
But just know you didn't win.
You walk around so proud to have all these broken hearts in your hands but you lose.
You lose because you lost a girl who saw heaven in your eyes when really it was hell.
- Everything I should have said to you. - Analysa Marie
