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Jul 16, 2017
Jul 16, 2017 at 11:38 AM UTC
Everything you have ever wanted is in arms reach. It is up to you to strive for it and make your life everything you want it to be. Change starts with you. Never lose focus on who you truly are, and never let anyone tell you that you cannot do anything. When they try to knock you down, stand up taller and show them you are completely capable of making your dreams come true. No one can take your dreams and visions away from you. Believe in yourself. Nothing happens overnight so never give up. These are your dreams, but the kind of dreams that you shouldn't sleep on.
- Analysa Marie
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 24, 2017 at 11:24 PM UTC
It was the most difficult time of my life. Looking back I now realize it has been a great lesson. I learned everything is temporary or I should say everything poisoned is temporary but the lesson is permanent. I learned that this life is a balance. When you feel sugar you'll also feel salt. You will feel love, but pain will follow. You will feel pain, but love will follow. When I learned to love the parts of life I hated I expanded as a person mentally and emotionally. Every feeling, every person, every situation (and the list goes on) is a lesson. Life has been a greater lesson than school has ever been and because of life I am grateful in every way, everyday and every ticking second.
- Analysa Marie
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:23 PM UTC
God,
I still pray for him even after he broke my heart.
I'm starting to think that I should pray for myself because you only know that I'm the one who is in need of healing.
I fell to my knees as the bullet hit me and I formed my hands together and I'm asking you to save him, keep him safe, make sure he never feels weak.
That's love...
The love didn't go away the moment my heart ripped in half.
It took awhile for it to patch and so soon for him to laugh and think of me as a joke.
I can't fall asleep without talking to you about him because somehow I feel like I'm talking to him.
Lord please let this man see the light, I know he must be tired of the dark.
You have been giving me signs that I've been too blind to see.
It's like he was a suspect and I couldn't choose him out of that line because he's my life line.
But he killed my spirit and maybe he should do the time.
So I push him away, no matter how bad I want my body to be intertwined with his.
God, I wanted to save him and be the one to catch him when he falls.
But I've fallen a thousand times and I'm tired of people asking how those bruises formed.
But they'll never go away because God, the only one who broke me can fix me and I've lost him a long time ago.
Is it wrong for me God, to wait for him to tell me that he's coming home because I've been lost ever since he left.
I just need to be in his arms, I need to be kept.
Amen.
- Analysa Marie
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:20 PM UTC
It’s all because of you that there’s no sunshine in my life. I should have known because rainy days were OUR days and we loved lighting. We must have gotten too close because it struck us apart. I guess all the letters I wrote you about how much I love you couldn’t make you stay. I should have known because you tried to erase the words away, but I told you the ink is permanent like my love for you. My body is becoming cold now and time is passing by slow. I’m sure in a couple of days I’ll have to walk away but you told me you’ll be back soon so I pray to God that soon turns into now, but by the looks of it God isn’t listening to me. This home isn’t a home anymore and we were supposed to be building but instead you broke it down. Now every night before bed I break down trying not to make a sound. Now all my days are impossible to face and my happiness is getting harder to fake and it’s all because of you. You know the perfect way to break my heart.
- Analysa Marie
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:18 PM UTC
I don’t want to be set on you when you are still out searching.
I don’t want to wait until you get it together within time then, hear how you’re sorry because you were too blind to see that I was your remedy for life.
I don’t want to only be your spring time when I’m blooming beautifully because that is the only thing you can handle.
I am much more.
I am heavy snow on cold winter days and almost way too hot tempered to cut the flame on a sunny summer day and no umbrella can stop me from the rain I become when I feel pain.
You don’t get to come back whenever you feel like you should.
I had a voice that you tried to silence me of and wings that tried to fly but of course you had to cut.
You blew my petals off wishing for your own dreams to come true.
You painted me only the color blue.
I was too busy making a king out of you, I forgot I was a queen, and every time you needed me it was my shoulder you would lean on.
You were wrong about me.
You said I can never live without you but now that I have the chance to breathe, it smells like an eternity without you.
- Analysa Marie
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:15 PM UTC
You are the one I want the most to stay.
I write these words in hopes that you will be able to feel me.
And I don't mean feel me like "I love you too."
But feel me in the way that when you want to say you love me you will make me feel your love.
Make me feel the way your eyes stay stuck on me like crazy glue when I walk the streets of Manhattan. Make me feel the way your heart beats so fast it feels like the world is having an earthquake. Make me feel the way you feel inside. Like no one has ever touched you in the way I have. Like anyone after me will have to learn a new language to understand the stories I have written all over you.
Feel me in the way that when you hold my hand you can feel my veins bursting because my whole body is electric and our love can never stop sparking.
But it's as if I've known you before I even knew your name.
I'm not getting to know who you are, but I'm starting to feel how much I have missed you.
All my days without you felt like I was in a crowd and I still felt lonely.
It's as if I'm looking into a mirror, but my reflection is moving differently.
We are different people, but somehow I feel like our hearts beat at the same pace.
- Analysa Marie
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:14 PM UTC
My mother told me when your heart beats fast it's because you love someone.
That's how I knew I was in love with you.
My love for you is growing, I think I need a bigger chest.
I was made to always be there with you when the sun rises and you feel like you can conquer the world.
I was made to always be there with you when the moon paints the sky and the world has come crashing down on you.
God made me for you.
I vow to never neglect, and to always protect your heart, and when things get too hard I will never regret this love.
I've been living life with only half of me, you came along and now I live life to the fullest.
Thank you for picking up all the pieces every time I break.
Thank you for showing me real love instead of fake.
- Happy Valentine's Day - Analysa Marie
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:09 PM UTC
I don't blame anyone or anything for all the hurt I have suffered from because I know I am the one who allowed all of that pain into my life. As years passed by I became adjusted to the comfort of pain. I made this mistake where I made myself a home to toxic people and situations in my life. After much disappointment I tried to figure out why I was the one who would always end up crying myself to sleep, but all along it wasn't rocket science to see that the only one who was hurting me was simply me. It took awhile to see that there was no knife in my back because I already planted it in my heart. I learned and came up with the result that I am the only one who can control how I live my life, so if I wanted to see a change then I had to be my own change. Own your mistakes, but don't be your mistakes. Be the result of what your mistakes have taught you. It's normal to see the light in the darkest people but as long as you learn that you are the sun, you'll never let a dark cloud block your rays again.
⁃ Analysa Marie
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:08 PM UTC
Be with you again?
I can't even imagine myself thinking about wanting to be with you again.
I'm doing good now actually I'm doing great now. Not that you care because let's face it the only time I was allowed to be happy was when I was with you.
But I was never happy with you.
All the times you had my mind running wild I mean you even had control over my dreams.
It was like every ticking second you were there to remind me of who you were. Like you were some **** trophy.
But you're not. You're more like aluminum foil you crumble the second too much pressure is put on you.
I prayed to God so many nights to make my love for you disappear because deep down I knew how sick you made me.
When I was with you I felt caged in.
Now, I found the key and I feel so free.
I feel so free that I can stand on the highest mountain and just scream because that's how powerful I feel.
I have control over me when for so long your hands were wrapped around me with the tightest grip I couldn't feel my blood circulating anymore.
The boy I'm with now actually you were the boy I was with, but the man I'm with now makes me blush and gush with emotions.
He makes me feel so beautiful.
You just made me hate myself.
I looked in the mirror and it's like I had to find a way to make myself look attractive that your mouth will just start watering every time you looked at me.
That's my fault.
I made you too hungry and when you starved I was right there for you to devour me.
All you ever did was make me weak.
But NOW I'm strong.
I'm strong enough now to look you in the eyes and say I don't love you anymore.
You were all wrong.
I got too caught up on wanting to see you win I let myself fail.
You taught me one thing in all the years we were together.
You taught me that the kind of man I deserve isn't you, but the opposite of you.
But most of all the biggest lesson I've learned that I had to reach myself is that I need to love myself more and love you not at all.
But just know you didn't win.
You walk around so proud to have all these broken hearts in your hands but you lose.
You lose because you lost a girl who saw heaven in your eyes when really it was hell.
- Everything I should have said to you. - Analysa Marie
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:06 PM UTC