The exhaustion of a single thought consumes you. As you lay there, awaiting something you knew was never to come, knowing that you were adequate for the time being, but now, as the beginning of something the world long awaits arrives, you have lost him. Lost him to the mistress that arrives when you must go, taking what you hold so dear and elevating him to dimensions you cant even fathom. For you cannot take away the pain like she can, you can only bear it with him. But its not enough, and you're not enough. This seed begins to plant itself in your brain, an unbounded vortex, and the rabbit hole of reality sets in. Slowly you begin to face the indisputable truth. He chose her, and always will, because for the time being she is the quick fix, and you're just a passtime.