we're at stage one:

you say, "the light
is hurting my eyes
now more than ever."

i squeeze your hand
in mine and whisper,
"let's make it worse
together." you take a breath
so deep it rattles
the entire
room.

i can't see past
four years ago, but your eyes
are closer to mine
than i've ever felt them before.

i can feel your heart
in your ribs, knowing
it used to be higher.

i tell you that i had a dream
the other night
about us falling apart,
about you
losing your lungs,
losing your mind,
feeling worse
than i ever could, and
letting a missing love
lead you
to the glistening
dark
blue stones.