wide open my eyes,
all i see is creation of fantasy,
that pierced my imagination,
push me to side and drag me off the cliff,
yes i even over worshiping drugs,
like gods and no one can't make me happy,
spreading my arms up in the air,
the feeling that i had to reach,
to salvation i can't find,
sometimes i dug my own grave,
that beg for impending doom.

i want to stop all this madness,
the addiction that pierced through my life,
****** me and my life.

i got helped for sometimes,
a help that i cant forget,
that instantly cured my depression,
cured all my sorrow,
i been sober but and yet people still treat me like trash,
it is not that i don't desire to change,
to pick up  the pieces i left abandoned on my life.

i always ask question why these things exist,
and why i got influenced all this,
it doesn't bring good in me and just pain,
i been looking at myself through the mirror,
all i hear my self screaming change,
i been gone for a while,
almost a year on my life,
shave my head  and had a long thought,
had a dark-side in me that i can't ignore
had another life in me that i cant reach.

sometime i want to find that special someone
that can  shield all these evil thoughts,
and why all these temptation just stop meeting that person,
why all these doors kept blocking me,
and why all this sins kept appearing,
why all these question keep  badgering me,
i want to change my self,
to become a better place,
all this negativity takes its tool ,
so god help me on next life.

i am just one man filled with passion,
but all these years growing up,
i wasn't the favorite son or relied upon,
i got used like a tool and get beaten up,
yet i stood up for myself,
jealousy began to took over my life and i was drawn into,
this lifestyle that freed my self from this depression,
but its reward are regret.