The suicide attempts
The anger, the self pity
Had my mind so clouded
Had me wondering why my life was so shytty.
I was consumed with anger
My life was a mess.
Once I let all of that go
God allowed me to be blessed.
I allowed my marriage to fail
I fell into a deep depression.
I allowed demons to haunt me
But now I learned my lesson.
I cut myself from off
From friends & family.
I lived in despair
& depression grabbed ahold of me.
I cried over losing my family
I tried several times to end my life.
But life kept on moving
For my children & ex-wife.
I came to to the conclusion
That I really need to move on.
But that was so hard to do
When my family was gone.
I wrote poetry & prayed
That really helped a great deal.
It helped me, when I wrote
How I really & truly feel.
Pauline was a great support system
Her words & poems were a Godsend.
I never told her this........
But I truly consider her a friend.
I learned waiting for death
Is no way for one to live.
I should look for the good in life
& strive to be positive.
I stopped crying & started smiling
I need my children to see that instead.
They don't need to see a broken man
Whose depressed, pathetic
Just one step from being dead.
I'll keep fighting to see my children
Because they are my legacy.
They are the reason why
I cast these demons away from me.