I sat
****** diner
I burst into tears
they smiled
I arose and pushed
the gentle ceramic
shattering to the floor
tea spilled about
i prefer my flask
anyways
I don't care
they can clean it up
walked across the floor
my feet now bleed
I shove on my shoes
they'll be fine without me
they don't exist
at that booth I was alone
I will not pay
my car is a beater
I slam the door
I shove the engine
I can't take this no more
I drive to the coast
it's a clear night
the moon is just rising
I wish I was happy
the people that smile are in my head
they make fun of me
for my insecurity
anxiety
I'm shaking
tears soak my shirt and my face
eyes stinging
mascara running
what is it for
there is no beauty
I reach the ocean
I leave my car
I scale the dunes
I sit by the waves
I don't wanna go back