My mind is screaming obscenities
And howling like a wounded dog
In the stark midnight air
I look up to see
To look at all the people around me
Can they hear the chaos that originates inside of me?
It's sad to say that my affliction
Is my disguised blessing
It gives me material to write about
I look down at the scars on my left arm
That my 16 year old self transcribed
I think of how long it's been
With this depression and anxiety and social paranoia lurking below the surface,
Swimming within my subconscious like eels that sting when they come to the surface
It feels like I've tried everything to heal,
And yet it persists
My mind goes ablaze
And my heart starts to race
I blame the whole world for my condition
If people were more loving and kind
If I just had someone to hold me and listen
I know these inner wounds would heal
These wounds need kissing and hugs and encouragement
This heart needs loving and then it'll start flourishing
I need support and kindness
I need to be free and
At the same time
I need good hearted people to love me.