Valentine's day for a feminist?
Is it really taking the pish?
She's far too busy burning her bra to bother opening her cards.
Send her flowers, if you dare and hope they aren't Nigerian
Fields of blooms tended to, by oppressed enslaved women you stupid fool.
Chocolates is another risky venture because she's environmently friendly!
She likes orangutans more than you and palm oil harvests just not good.
So think before you send her flowers, you could end up disembodied or at best like Morrisey
and not daffodils shoved where the sun ain't been.
Chocolates are far to risky and cards could lead to fists of furry.
As for **** underwear or things that buzz that are just for her?
Send her them if you dare and god forbid don't ask her to wear them.
She will tie you up with pantyhose ram the tickler up your nose
The handcuffs may become of use, to keep you still as she gets her shovel!
So on the 14th don't take a risk
Say **** all and just play safe
Just smile and don't go anywhere near
Where other fools once tried and paid dear
For under her patio there is still space, that puts a smile on the feminists face.

If I disappear after this you know where to look