Did you remember me today.
(I always remember yours),
Especially today, once a year.
You made such effort for happiness then.
I admired your mind,
Lusted for your body,
Held you in high esteem,
And you returned in kind.
We will never be strangers,
Though years have estranged us.
I get tongue-tied and stupid
When you're near now;
You seem indifferent.
I must live with this distance,
I deny I love you yet,
I deny, deny, deny.
Crazy, denial, the source
Of my isolation.
A symptom.
If I'd had cancer,
You would have held me,
I'd see the genuine sorrow about you,
Your tired eyes pleading for another day,
But  futility comes in many forms.
This way, I'd leave peacefully,
But I had to leave anyway.
So, after all these years,
Did you remember me today?