when we say we wish we could find
someone who will treat us a certain way

who will do a certain thing
at a certain time
or some random thing
at any random time

who will word things just so
or in a way no one else ever has

who will show
affection
passion
tenderness
that melts our heart

or the touch of wild insanity
igniting that secret fire within

someone to treat us
and love us
the way we’ve always wished to be loved

or any other way we say
we wish for someone to be

we often fail to say that
although we are looking for someone

we are not just looking for anyone

we are looking for that specific someone

which really confuses the hell out of
everyone who are each the very ones
who show and are such wishfully said things
to and for those
who speak the longings
of their own heart’s desire

and of this
I have danced
and died
on both sides of the contradiction

do not take offense when those
who say they are looking
for someone like you
pass you by
without a thought
or say that the feeling just isn’t mutual

there is a difference between
someone like you
and exactly you

it may hurt you

it may devastate you

it may tear you to so many minuscule shreds
that you feel there is nothing left of you
when the winds of change return

whether such is said or done
in all respect and sincerity
or delivered on sharpened tongue
dipped in the poison of cruel heartbreak
what they are really saying is
they will not dishonor you
or themselves
by giving you an incomplete and one sided love
the likes of which they can never equally return
as you both deserve love to be

yes
it is hell when you are not the desire
of your heart’s desire

it is a worse hell though
by far
to be with someone
when love is not completely
and truly mutual

we all have a certain dream
that will reject us to find a love
beyond what they
themselves
ever dreamed love could be

this is not an insult to us

this simply means that we
ourselves
will also one day find
a true
mutual love
beyond anything
and anyone
we ever dreamed love could be