Do you want to learn to be evasive,
Obnoxious, cynical, and highly abrasive?
I have the perfect teacher for you
To help you blow up an interview:

Kellyanne CONjob is her name.
An expert at the sidestepping game,
She will teach you to twist and turn
Answers to questions with no concern

For facts and truth. What do they matter
When you've got the gift of empty chatter?
She'll show you with great perfection
How to master the art of deflection.

Being sweet is one of her acts.
She loves to refer to "alternative facts"
To prove her points to the unwary.
Veracity is unnecessary.

Lies can provide great vitality
When you live in an alternate reality.
She will teach you to trick and deceive
With countless gimmicks hidden up her sleeve.

Learn how to blame the media when they
Say things you don't want them to say.
Some of her strategies might give offense,
But mainly in an Orwellian sense.

If you maintain a certain hostility
And think, "To hell with credibility!"
You could work for the president as well
Among the White House personnel.

- by Bob B (1-23-17)