I am still In deep thought- Wondering, how easy I’ve let you slipped From my hands And from my heart
Let’s take a step back And recount the moments Recollect the memories Reminisce the good old days And reassess this overnight decision I’ve impulsively taken
Let’s take a few more steps back And remember the first time I met you Back in high school The first time I said hi And thought you were cute
You were a plethora of my firsts The first boy bestfriend I’ve ever had The first boy to ever ask me out on dates The first boy to talk to me on a daily basis The first boy I ever liked…. Who actually liked me back
Undoubtedly, You were my first love
I thought I loved you like I’d never love anyone else I told you everything Wrecked these walls I’ve sheltered from for so long Just to hand you this little fragile heart of mine Through the cracked linoleum and the broken glass windows I gave you a golden ticket and an aerial view To my world
And after two years, In the end, You did decide to return the favour You trusted me enough To let me enter this mystical world of yours These two dimensions you seem to always get lost in Those two roads diverged in a wood That you can never seem to wrap your head around and choose
As I write this, I start to realise why and how I stopped loving you
I think I got tired Of trying to pull you up As you let yourself drown in the seas of your undecided thoughts
I stopped loving you The moment you say “I’m going to change” But the next day you woke up You put on the same old clothes You took the same route To the place that led you exactly back to where you once were
I got sick of Saying the same things Over and over again Asking you to change Only to expect nothing in return
Truth be told As similar as we are as people We live in worlds too distant apart Your world is too foreign for me, too fast and scary Whereas my world is too small and tightly guarded, all child’s play
As much as I’d want to love you I can’t seem to do so And if I could, I'd say this a million times to you
I truly am sorry.
Didn't think i'd make a poem out of this hahah. It's just something that's been bubbling up inside my head for too long. Anyway, this is for Z; The one I thought would be the love of my life. Thanks for always being there for me.