Xmas
I forget to breathe
and choke
while looking at my hands
and I realize I am
quite vain
a popstar
basking in hazardry
the snow you are meant
to see
You don’t know me
until
You go inside
and we kiss hands coming
out of the dark
you don’t know me until
the moment I ask you
to believe
there will be an Xmas when
the ice cracks blue
and I am not thinking
my imagination of us
old and riding a public bus
sliding down the glass
defying gorilla tape
I can’t even stop
half of myself
and know
Pain
Pain
Pain
Yes to
Love
Love
Love

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(snow falls)